Heterophobia is no more acceptable than homophobia. Sex parties often include lesbian sex, she pointed out, and just because she is a lesbian doesn’t mean she is repulsed by men or their sex, any more than a straight person should be repulsed by lesbians. Being the tolerant and long-suffering woman she is, she challenged my assumption. My question displayed an assumption that I hadn’t realised I held, that lesbian women must only be interested in seeing women have sex with other women. I had expected her to laugh at me, which she did. “Would it not be far too full of men?” I asked naively. She was talking about going to a sex party, and I, in what I perceived to be ignorance, asked her what her interest could be in going.
(I include the phrase self-identified here deliberately: I realise her propensity to prefer the company and sex of woman does not categorise her as a lesbian, but it is a term she very comfortably uses herself). This post was borne out of a recent discussion with a good friend of mine, Harriet, who is a self-identified lesbian.
